Episode 522
Mental Health Matters: A Chat with Jake on Coping and Support
Jake Ranney joins us today to dive into some heavy stuff. His memoir, "Like Nothing Happened," takes a raw look at mental health, trauma, and the absurd ways we sometimes cope, or don’t. We’re tackling the tough conversations around suicide and how important it is to reach out for help when we’re struggling. Jake shares his personal journey from a quiet farm in California to confronting his past through writing, turning what could’ve been just another sad story into a lifeline not just for him, but for others too. So grab your headphones, because if you’ve ever felt alone or just wanted someone to say, “Hey, I get it,” this episode is for you.
Mental health is a topic that can't be ignored, especially when it affects so many people in various ways. Jake Ranney, the author of "Like Nothing Happened," joins Ashley on the Black Sheep Christian Podcast to delve into his personal experiences with trauma and mental health. The conversation is raw, real, and incredibly necessary. They discuss the importance of reaching out for help and the stigma that often surrounds mental health issues. Jake shares how writing became a lifeline for him after a traumatic incident at 17, and how he transformed his pain into a powerful memoir aimed at helping others who might be suffering in silence. The duo emphasizes that everyone has a story and that sharing it can create a ripple effect of understanding and support. If you're looking for a conversation that mixes humor, heart, and a hefty dose of reality, this episode is for you. Whether you’ve been through your own struggles or just want to learn how to support someone who has, Jake’s insights are both enlightening and encouraging. So grab your headphones and prepare for a chat that might just change your perspective on mental health and the power of words.
Takeaways:
- Jake's memoir 'Like Nothing Happened' dives deep into his personal struggles with trauma and mental health, showing how writing became his lifeline.
- The podcast emphasizes the importance of approaching mental health discussions sensitively, as one word can make or break a person's day.
- Jake discusses the stigma surrounding mental health and how people often shove their issues under the rug instead of seeking help.
- The conversation highlights the critical need for supportive friendships during tough times, promoting open conversations to foster healing and connection.
- Listeners are encouraged to reach out to those in need, no matter how long it's been since they last spoke, because that simple text can mean the world.
- Resources like the Trevor Project and 988 are crucial lifelines for those struggling with mental health, underscoring the importance of accessible support services.
Links referenced in this episode:
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- Sierra Meadows
- The Trevor Project
- Male Survivor
Transcript
Welcome back.
Speaker A:My name is Ashley and this is the Black Sheep Christian Podcast.
Speaker A:Today I have Jake, author of upcoming book that is titled Like Nothing Happened.
Speaker A:Jake, thanks for joining me today.
Speaker B:Thank you for having me on.
Speaker A:I really appreciate you being here today.
Speaker A:We are.
Speaker A:I just want to, I need to slow down with my words.
Speaker A:I just want the audience to know that what we're going to talk about is a sensitive topic.
Speaker A:This is about mental health.
Speaker A:This is about suicide.
Speaker A:We will show resources.
Speaker A:So if this is a sensitive topic for you, I just want to let you guys know about what we're going to go through today.
Speaker A:So, Jake, I really want to thank you for joining me because what we are talking about is a very important subject to be today.
Speaker A:And it's something that is, it hasn't been new for people.
Speaker A:But I think what I would like to accomplish today is those who are going through it to be able to know how to reach out and how to cope with it.
Speaker A:And then most importantly, and I say most importantly for those who haven't gone through it, for us to talk through how they can approach somebody.
Speaker A:Because I think with some situations that I've gone through in my life, I think how people approach mental health is one of the most vital things that can affect somebody's life.
Speaker A:A word, an action, just one thing can really make or break.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I also feel like there's very much astigmatism around the universe of mental health.
Speaker B:And I feel that a lot of people tend to push things under the rug because they feel that it's easier than reaching out or that they're afraid of what they're going to be met with when they reach out.
Speaker B:And so, yeah, I do feel that it's very important that.
Speaker B:And to talk about it, even though you said it's not new for people, but I feel like even though it's not new for people, people don't talk about it enough for it to be a universal language type of situation.
Speaker A:Right, Right.
Speaker A:So let's start with your story because your story may help someone else.
Speaker A:And reading your bio, you wrote that you were born and raised in rural California and that you had an early love of writing.
Speaker A:Describe your upbringing and how that love of writing came about.
Speaker B:Well, when everybody thinks of California, they usually think of the bigger cities or the glam and all of that stuff.
Speaker B:Well, I was raised in central California and I lived on a little farm.
Speaker B:And then I would split time between that and my mom's house, which she lived in town, but it was still very small.
Speaker B:We had about 10,000 people in the city.
Speaker B:And I learned to write from a young age.
Speaker B:My grandma was a teacher, so she taught me to read and write when I was like three.
Speaker B:And so that kind of just really stuck with me.
Speaker B:And she ended up actually writing a small book about me.
Speaker B:And so growing up, that was pretty fun to, like, tell friends about and all of that.
Speaker B:And then I kind of pushed writing to the side or like, did whatever I needed to do for school and stuff, writing projects wise.
Speaker B:And then after everything happened to me, and we can get into that further on, writing just kind of became more of a, like a lifeline.
Speaker A:I'm gonna hold that question for later because I have another question for you.
Speaker A:With trauma in the next part of your bio, you.
Speaker A:You write, love of writing collided with trauma at 17.
Speaker A:Are you able to speak about that?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So the incident that happened to me actually happened when I was 16, but I didn't really write about it until I was 17 because everybody.
Speaker B:So when the incident happened, I kind of, like, I previously had stated I wanted to shove it under the rug and act like nothing had happened.
Speaker B:And later on down the road, I ended up going to a crisis counselor on top of my regular weekly counseling.
Speaker B:And they both had recommended.
Speaker B:Well, you.
Speaker B:You wrote a lot in the past and stuff.
Speaker B:Why don't you write about your experience in your journey?
Speaker B:And at first I was like, well, that doesn't really make sense for me to do.
Speaker B:You know, that doesn't really seem like it would benefit me.
Speaker B:If anything, I feel like it would bring more, like, traumatizing stuff up.
Speaker B:And I finally kind of caved in.
Speaker B:And when I started actually writing, all the emotions, of course, flew, like, flew into my head and all that stuff.
Speaker B:But it also kind of helped me realize, like, this is helpful, this is beneficial.
Speaker B:And what even made me think about sharing my story was when I was writing, I was like, well, things like this could do happen to other people, but if they read this, it could help them realize that they aren't alone and that it does need to be talked about.
Speaker B:And as I was writing, because I wrote a previous book and it was more amateur and it's just on Amazon for whoever goes on there.
Speaker B:But this one, like, deep dives into it and actually talks more about my council journey.
Speaker B:My.
Speaker B:The fact that nothing even came out of what happened, like, things like that and relating my story to other people and how it can affect people's lives and all of the above.
Speaker B:So I just feel like when.
Speaker B:I mean, collide with writing, like at first I was against it, and then it all just kind of flew together.
Speaker B:Like, it just all, like, was all sewn in all at once.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:That's beautiful.
Speaker A:I find it interesting in that we have a gift or a talent, and sometimes we feel that it isn't beneficial or it's silly, or it's like, why.
Speaker A:Why would it.
Speaker A:What would it do?
Speaker A:But it's interesting.
Speaker A:But that, you know, what we are given that we enjoy ends up saving us in the end.
Speaker A:Not knowing.
Speaker A:That's joy, you know?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And honestly, like.
Speaker B:Like you said, it really did end up saving me.
Speaker B:And of course, like I had mentioned, the.
Speaker B:The feelings came back a lot.
Speaker B:But when I realized how much the writing was gonna benefit me and hopefully benefit at least one other person.
Speaker B:Because the way I think of it is if this.
Speaker B:If me reaching out and sharing my story and writing about it and talking about it benefits at least one person, then it's all worth it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And just knowing all of that did in the long run kind of help me.
Speaker B:Help made it worth it for me.
Speaker A:That's beautiful.
Speaker A:So I'm going to read an Instagram post, and so I got some questions for.
Speaker A: ,: Speaker A:Without their support, the help.
Speaker A:Oh, without their support and the help from Sierra Meadows, I wouldn't be here to share this story.
Speaker A:I'm not sharing this for attention.
Speaker A:I'm sharing it because I'm sharing it because I know I'm not the only one who has felt this way.
Speaker A:If you're struggling, please know you're not alone.
Speaker A:You are seen.
Speaker A:You are valued.
Speaker A:There is help out there.
Speaker A:And some people care deeply about you, even if it.
Speaker A:If it doesn't feel that way right now.
Speaker A:That is a beautiful post.
Speaker A:And my thought was, and this is where I really want to touch on, for those to be able to help others.
Speaker A:And I wrote that there are those who don't understand how severe it can be for you and to describe it.
Speaker A:And I asked that question because I have been in that place of darkness before.
Speaker A:And one thing that I find interesting for those who haven't is the description, like, there are people who really just don't understand what place feels, looks like.
Speaker A:So for you, can you just.
Speaker A:What is your way to describe it to others?
Speaker A:Oh, no, I can't hear you right now.
Speaker B:When it had happened, I felt like.
Speaker B:Like I. I'm trying not to even get emotional, right.
Speaker B:Like, talking about it.
Speaker B:But when I did write about it and post it, I felt relieved because I felt like my.
Speaker B:With my friends knowing about it, it would help me find closure, help me feel accountable, because I don't.
Speaker B:And even before I felt the need to post it, I had kind of talked to my family about it, and they were like, well, you realize, like, how many people would truly be impacted if you had made that decision?
Speaker B:And I had the mindset, and these are words that actually came out of my mouth to my mom.
Speaker B:I was like, well, you would move on.
Speaker B:You would get over it.
Speaker B:You have other kids.
Speaker B:You, like, you would love them.
Speaker B:You would be able to get over it.
Speaker B:Like, all of that.
Speaker B:And looking back on that, I'm like, wow.
Speaker B:Like, how I must have really been in a difficult spot, because I don't feel like I would have ever uttered those words to my mom if I hadn't.
Speaker B:And I feel like looking back on it, me being able to talk about it is proof that I can move past it, you know?
Speaker B:And even after.
Speaker B:Even when I had posted that, I had counseling, and my counselor kind of bluntly said, well, I'm glad you failed at it.
Speaker B:And I.
Speaker B:And even in that moment, I was like, don't, please don't.
Speaker B:Because I didn't want to be a failure.
Speaker B:Like, I felt like that was something that I failed at, and I don't like failing.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And for them to say that it just made it worse.
Speaker B:And I was like, well, I get what you're meaning by saying this, but it's just kind of like.
Speaker B:Like, that cut me even deeper, you know?
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:And it.
Speaker B:It's just all to come to say that, like, I wanted to talk about it because without naming names or anything, I know people that have felt that way.
Speaker B:I know that every day, multiple.
Speaker B:Multiple people feel that way on a daily basis, and they carry it around with them.
Speaker B:And the only reason I do know that is because I was one of them.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:That.
Speaker A:I apologize if that hurt you.
Speaker A:I know that you're.
Speaker B:Yeah, you're fine.
Speaker A:I. I ask it because as I wanted to touch on what we say and how we say to people who are going through something really matters.
Speaker A:I think the strongest sword that we carry is our tongues.
Speaker A:And some people out there don't fully understand the power of a word.
Speaker A:And to even understand it, I mean, Scripture can help us out there.
Speaker A:You know, in the Bible, God says reject maybe a couple of times that I can recall.
Speaker A:And for God to say that I Reject is the most.
Speaker A:Is the most cutthroat you, you can ever feel.
Speaker A:And, and that's only two words.
Speaker B:So it just, it's crazy how one word can hold so much power.
Speaker A:Yes, yes.
Speaker A:And so for us to continuously say God is love.
Speaker A:God is love.
Speaker A:God is love.
Speaker A:It is a continuation of, of something to let us know, to remind us of our value, our purpose.
Speaker A:To know that the most powerful being who makes no mistakes created us, created you for a reason.
Speaker A:And so if a most powerful being does not make mistakes, then, you know, I, you family members are not mistakes as well.
Speaker A:So words really hold weight.
Speaker B:And to kind of touch back on that, like those two words, I reject.
Speaker B:Reject isn't even that strong of a word.
Speaker B:I reject phone calls all the time.
Speaker B:And we can even talk about how that can hold so much power.
Speaker B:So what are we to think about how powerful other words people use?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Can be?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:And it's just.
Speaker B:It's crazy.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Yes, it is.
Speaker A:There's nothing more that I can add to that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yes, it is.
Speaker A:So this leads into.
Speaker A:My next question is based on your experience and everybody is different.
Speaker A:I just want to put that disclaimer.
Speaker B:Out there.
Speaker A:Quite simply because it is important when somebody who is having is experiencing mental health, it's important to ask how the best way to approach someone in a time of need.
Speaker A:So my question for you is based on your experience.
Speaker A:What do you see is the best approach for somebody to approach a person in need?
Speaker B:Well, and I do appreciate the fact that you made that disclaimer because some people do feel that it's a one size fits all type of situation and everybody's going through something different.
Speaker B:You never know what's going on in someone's head and nobody knows their body better than that person that's in the body.
Speaker B:And kind of keeping that in mind, I feel like some of the best ways to navigate helping others in those times of need and kind of allowing them to realize that you are there for their best interest.
Speaker B:And what they would like you to help them do is kind of one, you need to be there, whether it be sending a text, kind of giving a hug, like, just like if, for example, I have some very close friends and I'm very honored and gracious about that.
Speaker B:And they would reach out and I would be able to vent to them.
Speaker B:I would be able to rant about what's going on.
Speaker B:I just feel like having those connections with people are really important.
Speaker B:And I feel like that's when talking about it becomes really important.
Speaker B:As well, because I feel that if we're able to have open conversations, because that's what I was able to do.
Speaker B:Because.
Speaker B:And I'm not trying to say because so much, I apologize, but since I had those friendships and I felt so connected with these people, that is what allowed me to talk about it, and that's what allowed me to get through it and know that I'm going to be okay.
Speaker B:And obviously, in that moment, it can either be the littlest of things or it can be as much as just like I need to be left alone, but knowing that those friends are still there for women.
Speaker B:You want to talk about it?
Speaker B:Because whether people.
Speaker B:Some people may say, oh, well, if I.
Speaker B:If I don't think about it or if I distract myself, it's going to go away.
Speaker B:And I'm here to say that that is not true.
Speaker B:At least not for me.
Speaker B:And I get that everybody's different, but I bet you, and I'm not even a betting person, but I bet you at least 8 times out of 10 if someone says that they're just trying to get away from it and it's not going to happen.
Speaker B:I tried that so many times, and I even pushed away friends that were trying to be there for me.
Speaker B:But the second I embraced my friends and allowed those people that are good to me in life to actually be there, everything shifted.
Speaker B:And I feel like maybe that question that you just asked me is almost better for one of those friends because they were the ones that really helped me through it.
Speaker B:I honestly feel that, in my own personal view, that lending a hand being there to be able to be vented to, even.
Speaker B:Even if it's just a text saying, like, hey, I'm here for you.
Speaker B:And like you mentioned earlier, the littlest of words can go such a long way.
Speaker B:And, yeah, it's just.
Speaker B:I feel like those were like.
Speaker B:There's this one kind of quote, and I might butcher it, but it's from a TV show that I watched, and one of the characters had mentioned how words are like toothpaste and once they're out of the tube, you can't put them back.
Speaker B:And that really has stuck with me ever since I heard that.
Speaker B:And I just feel that people sharing kind words with one another really do help.
Speaker B:And I hope that even answered a little bit of your question.
Speaker B:And I'm truly sorry if it.
Speaker B:If it went off on a tangent.
Speaker A:No, no need to apologize, because the question is, describe it for you.
Speaker A:Because, I mean, as you even said, you know, it's different for everybody.
Speaker A:I Loved the fact that you said that.
Speaker A:Oh, I'm trying to remember how what you're going.
Speaker A:It's your body, it's, it's your experience.
Speaker A:I know you didn't use the word experience, but you use the word.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And I think that's very powerful that we need to remind ourselves quite simply because what I am feeling is different from what you're feeling.
Speaker A:But that doesn't make it invalid.
Speaker A:You know, we could be going through the same experience, not, I'm sorry, we could be going through in the same environment and having different experiences.
Speaker A:But nothing trumps and, and even kind.
Speaker B:Of to go back to what you said, I know it's not what you meant to say, but we can have a group of 10 people go through the same experience, same environment, same everything.
Speaker B:And you're going to get 10 different responses, you're going to get 10 different answers, you're going to get 10 different feelings.
Speaker B:And they're all valid.
Speaker A:Yes, they very are.
Speaker A:And with.
Speaker A:To the point that we're trying to make is when somebody is going through something, dismissing their feelings is the absolute worst thing that, that, that you can do.
Speaker A:And I, I also want to say this because I'm thinking about somebody in my mind and that is that I pray that they will learn is that you don me to agree, but I want you to understand.
Speaker A:And those are two different things.
Speaker B:They're two very different things.
Speaker B:And yeah, it's just.
Speaker B:And I do really find that very powerful.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:And it's.
Speaker B:I don't want to give credit to these people because they don't deserve it.
Speaker B:And I know that's very harsh for me to say that, but those kind of people that aren't understanding, it's just mind boggling to me.
Speaker B:It's really, it's really mind.
Speaker B:Like even when you said that I could think of 50 different people that didn't understand a single thing I went through.
Speaker B:And that's just on one topic.
Speaker B:On one topic.
Speaker B:And I know there wasn't a question, but I did want to share this and it is in the book to kind of piggyback on what you said.
Speaker B:I even had gone to the lawyer like I had gone to a lawyer and he was just dismissing everything that happened to me, comparing me to other people, saying that compared to other people I have it better like all that kind of stuff.
Speaker B:And let's just say in that moment that those words in that toothpaste jar kind of came out and I stood up and I kind of lost my cool and I said Look, I guess we're done here.
Speaker B:Nothing I say is going to matter to you.
Speaker B:And your job is to help people.
Speaker B:And if you're going to act like that, that's why people don't come forward.
Speaker B:That's why people don't report things.
Speaker B:That's why people do end up killing themselves.
Speaker B:And I know that's very harsh and I know I maybe shouldn't have said it word for word, but at that moment I really felt like I needed to get my point across because after a while, people do feel so dismissed that actions do take place that were very avoidable.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:And there's no coming back from it.
Speaker A:Right, agreed.
Speaker A:Agreed.
Speaker A:Some.
Speaker A:I'm thinking of a particular situation in which I, I had no authority to, to do anything, but when they did pass away, I had a conversation with somebody because they were asking for something in particular before, before they left this earth.
Speaker A:And I said, and they were, and it was rejected.
Speaker A:And I said to this person I was talking to about it with, I said, you know, it didn't matter about if that what they were requesting was going to work or not work.
Speaker A:At the end of the day it was, they were asking for something just for help.
Speaker A:And so because of how it was answered, it wasn't understood that even though what they're asking may not have helped him, it was still, it was still for help.
Speaker A:And it would just wasn't understood that it, that what they were doing was asking for help.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And so I will always think about that person just because it was just a missed opportunity.
Speaker B:And I want to take this time to, well, for starters, express my condolences and to kind of dive deeper.
Speaker B:Like this is the reason why I felt so important to talk about it because everybody knows someone who has gone through it.
Speaker B:They have either gone through it themselves, they know somebody who's been affected by it, they've heard talk about it, and yet there's still such a stigmatism behind it.
Speaker B:And I, I think it's way overdue for those walls to come down.
Speaker A:Agreed, agreed.
Speaker A:And, and I think this, you know, there is more conversations about.
Speaker A:But one thing in particular that I'm really happy that there, there are more conversations about is loneliness.
Speaker A:Because for your situation, it was a traumatic situation that has, that brought you through the journey that you went through.
Speaker A:But it doesn't have to be trauma.
Speaker A:Sometimes it could just be this prolonged stage of just emptiness.
Speaker A:And I, I could be incorrect about it, but I think another thing that we should also help out those two is just loneliness and to Be able to just simply connect with each other.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:I couldn't agree more.
Speaker B:And I'm not a doctor yet, but I don't think you're incorrect.
Speaker B:And not to kind of use your previous situation, but it all kind of ties in.
Speaker B:Like, it doesn't have to be trauma.
Speaker B:It could be grief.
Speaker B:It could be.
Speaker B:Obviously grief might be trauma related, but it could be the littlest of things.
Speaker B:And I feel that a lot of things that shouldn't be are just dismissed.
Speaker B:And for example, that person that you had mentioned just a second ago, I feel that if someone were.
Speaker B:It was able to read through those lines that maybe we would be having a different discussion.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:So if you're thinking about somebody, everybody, anybody, reach out to them.
Speaker A:Text, knock on the door.
Speaker B:It can be someone who you haven't talked to in decades.
Speaker B:Yeah, but that one little text is so important.
Speaker A:Agreed, Agreed.
Speaker A:I mean, like what we said.
Speaker A:I mean, words really matter.
Speaker A:So just like, I'm thinking about you.
Speaker A:That's power.
Speaker A:That's power.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So with your book, because we did talk about a little bit about it like nothing happened.
Speaker A:It's set to come out this month, August, which congratulations to you.
Speaker A:I hope that you.
Speaker A:My words are failing me.
Speaker A:My brain is like.
Speaker B:It'S Friday, so it's okay.
Speaker A:But yeah, congratulations to you on writing this.
Speaker A:I do want to acknowledge not the fact that you wrote a book, but you wrote a book about something that really negative affected your life.
Speaker A:And so thank you for writing that to help somebody.
Speaker A:And so I just want to take that time to acknowledge that feat that you did, because writing a book is hard, let alone writing a book about a negative experience.
Speaker B:And thank you.
Speaker B:That truly does mean a lot.
Speaker B:And I think everything.
Speaker B:I feel like, I feel so grateful to even have this platform and to even have this opportunity to help spread the word and to help other people.
Speaker B:And yeah, I wrote it about something that's very deep and traumatic, but it wasn't like I could have wrote in a book about anything.
Speaker B:And I felt that if I didn't talk about this one, it was going to eat me alive.
Speaker B:I felt that it helped me, but at the same time, I'm hoping it helps other people.
Speaker A:Do you think God called you to write it?
Speaker B:I feel like, yeah.
Speaker B:And I do feel that if it wasn't meant to be and if it wasn't shaped in his points, that it wouldn't have happened and we would have had a whole.
Speaker B:I may be on your show talking about a cookbook.
Speaker B:I don't know I could have been on your show about anything, or we may not even have connected.
Speaker B:You know, everything happens for a reason.
Speaker B:Everything.
Speaker B:And that's honestly one of the mental aspects that I had to believe is that this happened to me for a reason.
Speaker B:This was put in my life for a reason.
Speaker B:I went through that for a reason.
Speaker B:And now it's time for me to live those reasons.
Speaker B:It's time for me to work through those reasons.
Speaker B:It's time for me to allow those reasons to hold an impact.
Speaker A:That is beautiful.
Speaker A:That reminds me of this.
Speaker A:This may sound off base, but it reminds me of a study that.
Speaker A:An article that I read a while ago.
Speaker A:My daughter's gonna be like, oh, my God, mom, stop reading.
Speaker A:And it was.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:Scientists were recreating basically an earth environment, and so it was indoors, and trees were growing.
Speaker A:So they'll grow to a certain point, and then they would just break.
Speaker A:And they couldn't figure out why that was the case.
Speaker A:And so it ended up being that wind is a vital part of a tree's growth.
Speaker A:And when you think about it, you know, when we go through things in life, we.
Speaker A:We want to be protected and not be harmed in any way and not experience discomfort.
Speaker A:But part of that is our growth and who we are to become.
Speaker A:And so wind actually is vital for trees to grow.
Speaker A:And so I say that to say that I believe what you are going to become the most beautiful person.
Speaker A:You're probably going to be the most tallest tree in that forest, you know, after everything is.
Speaker A:Is said and done.
Speaker A:So I commend you on your journey, and I commend you on.
Speaker A:On writing this book.
Speaker B:I just want to say two things.
Speaker B:First, you should send me that study because I would love to read it.
Speaker B:And then second of all, you're commending me, but I would like to commend you because you're using your platform for good.
Speaker B:You're allowing people like me to share my story.
Speaker B:And if it weren't.
Speaker B:If it weren't for people like you, I would have never felt comfortable enough to share.
Speaker B:And I know we don't know too much about each other, but it just does mean the world to me.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:I'm sorry.
Speaker A:Playing the school in the back.
Speaker B:Maybe that's a metaphor.
Speaker B:Maybe that's a sign that we're just gonna sail up.
Speaker B:You know, it's all gonna go up.
Speaker A:I have my window open because it gets hot in here, but obviously, because.
Speaker B:You need your win.
Speaker B:You need your win.
Speaker A:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker A:There we go.
Speaker B:There we go.
Speaker A:Oh, goodness.
Speaker A:So what is one thing that you want everyone to remember?
Speaker B:I want everyone to remember that they.
Speaker B:Whether they think they don't, because I will be one of these people for that person that thinks that they don't have one.
Speaker B:But everybody has a support system, and I don't know all the 7 billion people in the world, but if I need to help one of them, I will talk through it with them.
Speaker B:But I want everyone to remember that they aren't alone and that they have stories that matter.
Speaker B:And I spoke.
Speaker B:I said something to this effect to somebody else other a while back in passing.
Speaker B:But everybody has a story that can fill a book.
Speaker B:I'm not saying you have to write a book, but just know that your story matters.
Speaker B:Everybody's stories matter.
Speaker B:Everybody has a story, whether they think it's little or not.
Speaker B:It's not.
Speaker A:That's beautiful.
Speaker A:Those words touched me.
Speaker A:That's beautiful.
Speaker A:I think before we depart, I think it's very important I'm gonna.
Speaker A:That people know what resources.
Speaker A:So I know I grabbed these from your website from Resources, phone numbers, websites that people can reach out to.
Speaker A:Tell me a little bit about some of these organizations, because some of them, I was like, oh, like the Trevor Project.
Speaker A:I haven't heard about that.
Speaker A:I haven't.
Speaker A:I haven't heard about that.
Speaker A:So, please, teachers, the people that I.
Speaker B:Worked with to help piece everything together, because I'm not an IT person, they helped me.
Speaker B:They asked me, well, they said, jake, what do you think is important to have on your website?
Speaker B:And the first thing that came up wasn't even the book.
Speaker B:It was the resources.
Speaker B:And so for you to touch on it shows that it is the most important and it was beneficial.
Speaker B:So the resources that are provided on here are kind of along the lines of in California, it's like 988.
Speaker B:I don't know if it's the same everywhere.
Speaker B:I may have to double check that same in Ohio.
Speaker A:That's a really good question.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:But these are nationwide outlets.
Speaker B:These are people that are there 247 for those who feel like they have nobody to talk to, for those who need support.
Speaker B:You mentioned the Trevor Project.
Speaker B:That's specifically for, but not limited to the LGBTQ youth support and those I have been lucky enough to not have to call one of those.
Speaker B:But I called some others that those people there are dedicated people.
Speaker B:Those people aren't there to collect a paycheck.
Speaker B:Those people are there to listen to you, to help you in your most desperate time of need.
Speaker B:And the way I think of it is those are people that go to work and hope that they don't have to answer a phone, even though they do have to answer a phone and it's important for them to answer a phone.
Speaker B:Those are people that aren't going to be happy to do their jobs.
Speaker B:Those are people that aren't going to.
Speaker B:They probably aren't going to leave work with a smile on their face, but those are people doing God's work and those are people, like I had mentioned, dedicated.
Speaker B:I can't even say that word enough.
Speaker B:Dedicated.
Speaker B:Dedicated.
Speaker B:Dedicated to your well being.
Speaker B:I'm not exactly sure if it's like registered counselors or anything like that, but it is someone to talk to, someone to listen to.
Speaker B:I would have put my phone number on there, but like I had mentioned before, I do tend to reject calls because I don't know what's spam and what's not.
Speaker B:So I didn't want to accidentally reject someone's phone call.
Speaker B:But yeah, those are things that obviously you only see three on the screen.
Speaker B:We need more of those.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Oh, I have another slide here.
Speaker A:Here we go.
Speaker A:Mental Health and Therapy.
Speaker A:This was also on your.
Speaker A:Yeah, Cipher.
Speaker B:I wanted to.
Speaker B:Before you finish, I want to say that I meant three as in we need more platforms.
Speaker B:I didn't mean like you need to move to the next slide.
Speaker B:I just want you to know that I meant.
Speaker B:I meant we need more than three.
Speaker B:We need.
Speaker B:Because those are just the main ones we need.
Speaker B:If it were up to me, we would have one dedicated to every county because everybody is different.
Speaker B:Every county is different, every access point is different, every resource is different.
Speaker B:Those are the main nationwide ones.
Speaker B:But yeah, and then these are types of platforms to help you find therapy.
Speaker B:Because the previous slide was more in that moment.
Speaker B:These are going to help you more in the long run.
Speaker B:So we wanted to be able to try to find one that didn't cost anything.
Speaker B:And if I am correct, I think Psychology Today is pretty accessible.
Speaker B:And then we felt the need to not warn people, but to inform them that the Open Path Collective is a little like, you do have to pay, I believe.
Speaker B:But I do feel that those two are very.
Speaker B:They're not, let's just put it this way, they're not the Wikipedia of things.
Speaker B:Those are reliable sources.
Speaker B:I would have not put them on there if I did not trust my own life or those that I love lives to those resources.
Speaker B:So I put those on there.
Speaker B:Well, I didn't personally put those on there, but I told them to put those on there because Those are resources that can be utilized for those that need help and need.
Speaker B:Need help finding help.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I do appreciate you showing these because that's very honorable.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And then the last one is legal advice, which in itself, I mean, I mean when people don't think about mental health, you know, obviously the crisis line and you know, obviously therapy, but depending upon the situation, sometimes you do need to have a.
Speaker A:You do need the legal system in order for you to be able to.
Speaker B:Get out of your situation and the advocacy.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Not to make light of what you just said, but when we were talking about what to put on the website, as far as resources, in my head, and this is going to sound selfish and that's why I kind of want to call myself out on it, I was like, well, why would I put legal if my legal needs weren't met and I had to be open and I had to be reminded that just because my legal needs weren't met doesn't mean that the whole legal system is messed up.
Speaker B:Those are two resources.
Speaker B:The male survivor one really hits home to me because I am a male survivor and it is called Male Survivor.
Speaker B:I know some people prefer victim, but we needed to be mindful of what their website was actually called.
Speaker B:So I just want to disclaim that.
Speaker B:But these are two resources.
Speaker B:Once again, we need more and maybe I should tell my IT people to research some more.
Speaker B:But these are two resources that will help you find legal help, advocacy.
Speaker B:Some people think those are the same thing.
Speaker B:In my case I had an advocate and a legal counsel.
Speaker B:So depending on your situation, you can have both an advocate.
Speaker B:And if you are, if that is an option for you, I would recommend you take both of those in a heartbeat, depending on your situation.
Speaker B:I know that if it wasn't for my advocates that I would have curled up in a ball and given up.
Speaker B:So those two, the male survivor one helps mainly men that are going through difficult situations.
Speaker B:And then the net, the one above is more of a rounded one that hits everything.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Thank you for explaining those.
Speaker A:I do want to say for everybody in the United States, every state is different.
Speaker A:I know in Ohio we do have 988, so every state is different as far as phone numbers, resources.
Speaker A:I know I do have a few international.
Speaker A:I know that that's definitely going to be different where you are.
Speaker A:But I do want to say, and put this out there for those who are going through a difficult time.
Speaker A:Don't be afraid to reach out.
Speaker A:Don't be afraid to reach out.
Speaker A:Don't Be afraid to reach out again if you do get rejected.
Speaker A:I do want, I feel like that's very important to say that because there is somebody that is there.
Speaker A:Sometimes when God calls somebody to help you, they got to take a minute for the call.
Speaker A:So I do want to let people know that don't stop looking because there is somebody who's nearby to help you check what your county, state offers.
Speaker A:If you're employed, you know it.
Speaker A:Does your health insurance provide something for you?
Speaker A:There's also resources.
Speaker A:There's resources.
Speaker A:It's just a matter.
Speaker A:Just don't give up looking.
Speaker B:And I do want to piggyback one thing on that is although numbers may be different Everywhere in the US911 is a national phone number.
Speaker B:Some people feel like their story, their situation doesn't fit that criteria.
Speaker B:But if you do call, if you don't know any numbers, 911 will connect you to someone and they will send someone out.
Speaker B:I feel that in my situation, and I'm going to keep this short, in my situation, I didn't want to call because I didn't want it to become such a big thing and I didn't want to put other people out and burden people.
Speaker B:But it's important to realize that those people are working there to help you.
Speaker B:They are there 247 to help you pick up the phone.
Speaker B:It is going to help.
Speaker B:It's going to be worth it.
Speaker A:Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker A:I didn't think about that one.
Speaker A:That's a good one.
Speaker A:Thank you for that.
Speaker A:That's a very good one.
Speaker A:Jake, I just want to thank you for joining me today.
Speaker A:I'm, I'm blessed that we had this conversation.
Speaker A:I pray that this conversation will be able to reach somebody.
Speaker A:And I also pray for you to continue on with, with your purpose and your journey.
Speaker A:And I pray that the Lord will bless you and everything that you do.
Speaker B:And I want to say same to you.
Speaker B:And once again, thank you so much for allowing me to come on and share my story.
Speaker B:And thank you for being that limelight to other people to be able to share theirs as well.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:And for my viewers, guys, God is love.
Speaker A:God is love.
Speaker A:And please show God's love today.
Speaker A:So until next time, later.
